What is it?
This is where abusers will get their victims to agree to one thing, and then to more progressively worse things as time goes on
What’s an example?
In Surviving R. Kelly, the victims stated that R. Kelly would start off by telling the girls and young women to call him “Daddy”.
If they agreed, especially quickly and without hesitation, it showed him that they are easily submissive. He would then tell them that they could not talk to people and other people could not talk to them.
If they were still in agreement, it would go to controlling what they can eat, wear, and do. If the victim stayed through that, he began to hit them and control them even more.
What to do?
Do not agree to anything that is remotely submissive or demeaning – especially in the beginning of the relationship. I understand that some people are into more exploratory sexual fantasies. However, unless you discuss your boundaries and limits fully with your partner and mutually agree on that lifestyle, it is important that you do not show signs that you would blindly submit.