Last week we talked about unlearning some harmful myths about love. This week we are speaking about what love is. With 7 days until Valentine’s Day, I think this topic is just in time. The list below contains 7 characteristics of love, that you will see if a man truly loves you. If your love life is lacking any of these characteristics, I challenge you to think critically about whether you are experiencing true love.
1. He is SCARED
When you love, you give someone power over your heart to break it. That’s a scary feeling. Men like to be in control of their feelings, so when a man truly loves you, he is scared.
The truth is, when we love, we usually trust that people will not break our heart. Of course, over time that trust could wither, as I mentioned in a previous post concerning the myths about love, and that is essentially what makes love so scary; the thought that someone could break your trust and cause you to experience a pain like no other.
2. He is PERSISTENT
When a man loves you someone, he does not give up easy.
Love will cause you to stay and try again to make it work. In toxic situations, of course, it is okay to leave, and I encourage walking away. However, when all it takes is some communication and compromise, Love is worth relentless pursuit.
3. He is Careful With Your Heart
When you love someone, you handle their heart as carefully as you would an item that is impossible to replace. Essentially, their heart is impossible to replace. I personally look at love as a blessing from God. I believe it is given to me by God, so I am careful to take care of it.
Whether your man believes in God or not (his choice), I am sure that there is something in his life that he value and that could not be replaced. If this man truly loves you, he will treat your heart like what he values, or even better.
4. He is Patient
A man who truly loves you will not pressure you into things that you are not ready for. He will wait patiently. This may include sex, children, a career change, etc. This is not to say that a gentle nudge of encouragement is wrong, but when it is clear that you are not ready, he will wait patiently.
However, it is also important to set standards for yourself. If he is ready for something that you are absolutely not ready for, and may never be ready for, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. If it compromises your long-term happiness, move on.
5. He Allows You to Be Yourself
The best part of being with a man that truly loves you is the freedom in being your complete self with your partner.
When I was in true love for the first time, II did not have to pretend to be something that I was not in order to fit in. I did not have to filter out my slang or think of the politically correct way to say things. I could be silly, serious, curious, or a total nerd, and that was fine. I could lay next to my partner in silence and that was fine. Everything was fine. I was completely free. A man who truly loves you will be the same way with you.
6. He is Altruistic
Altruism means doing a good deed without the expectation that you will get something in return. Love is truly altruistic. When a man loves you, he wants you to be happy and successful. He does things for you because he love you, not because he expects you to pay him back.
I want to clarify that if the relationship is one-sided or toxic, then altruism does not apply here. he is only giving and never getting anything in return, he has the right to leave.
7. When a man truly loves you, he Makes You Feel Like A Million Dollar Bill
Overall, love is the best feeling in the world. It may be scary, but once he takes the chance to fully experience and embrace it, it becomes something that he does not want to let go and he will show you that every chance he gets and in every way he possibly can.
I often hear “love hurts.” I will make the argument that love it the best feeing in the world, and what actually hurts, is the absence of love.
Question of The Week:
How would you define love?
Love (the feeling) can’t be explained in [only] a few words. Love for me is when you unconditionally think good about someone. That’s love! You keep thinking about them whatever you do, wherever you go. Love is a feeling which will keep you motivated [when you are the most] frustrated and lost, it’s a feeling, which [goes beyond] physical contact.
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Love is beautiful and magical. Though scary, it is not something we should avoid. We should fully embrace it and take every measure to protect it.
Happy Valentine’s Day, My Lovelies.
I pray that it is full of love in the truest and purest sense.
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About the Author
Mish (Pronounced Meesh) Truth has always been a natural social justice advocate. She now holds BA in Psychology and will hold an MSW by May 2021.
She is is passionate about social justice issues and overall mental wellness. This includes knowledge on how to develop healthy relationships, and awareness mental and medical illnesses, and social justice issues.
Growing up in an urban, low income, community, she learned a lot before her time. She credits her success to her self awareness and desire for personal growth.
Her goal is to change the world by affecting at least one person, educating them, inspiring them, and then empowering them to go out and affect more change.
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